There's Got to Be A Morning After
by Maetro
Summary: A companion piece to Champagne Mistakes. JJ and Emily deal with the aftermath of their night together. JJ/Emily femslash. Chapter 12  final chapter  has been posted 03/08/10
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All these characters belong to CBS and whoever else holds rights to Criminal Minds.

**Pairing**: JJ/Emily Criminal Minds  
**Summary: **A companion piece for Champagne Mistakes. JJ and Emily shared a steamy, alcohol fueled night together that has led them to something more. This chapter, the teams reaction.

**Rating:** M  
**Timeline:** Second season, not long after Emily has joined the team. Not related to any specific episode.  
**Authors Note: **What started out as a basic, plot? what plot? piece of fluff has turned itself into an actual story

Emily was pulled awake by a shrill, insistant ringing in her ear. Without even opening her eyes she stretched an arm out, found the offending cell phone and brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

A long pause on the other end and then, "Emily?"

"Garcia?" It took a moment for her brain to recognize the voice, but once it had she was immediately awake. She sat up carefully, leaning away from a still sleeping JJ so as not to wake the other woman unless it was absolutely neccessary. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Garcia reassured her.

"Then, why are you calling me at...8:30 on a Sunday morning?"

There was another pause and the faint clearing of a throat and then a faint reply. "Actually, I was calling JJ."

Emily pulled the phone away from her ear and glanced at it, confirming that it was in fact JJ's cellphone. Shit.

"You guys left so suddenly Friday night, I was worried. I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay."

Emily let out a low, throaty chuckle. "Nice try, Garcia. If you were really worried about JJ, you would have called her Friday night. You figured she'd be home by now. You want details."

"Busted," Garcia agreed readily. She waited a moment and then said, "So?"

"Nu-uh."

"Ah, come on Em. Not even a little something?"

"All I will say is this...wow," she pronounced the word slowly and clearly then hung up before Garcia could say anything else.

With a quiet sigh she put the cell phone back onto the table and lay back down. JJ stirred beside her and she turned to watch a pair of blue eyes blink open.

"What's up?" she murmured. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. That was Garcia. I accidently answered your cell phone," Emily admitted sheepishly.

JJ's eyes widened. "Garcia knows?" she asked, sitting up in bed. The the panic in her voice was unmistakeable.

Emily tried not to react to it, but she couldn't help the twist of her heart.

Carefully,she sat up and faced JJ.

"She suspected and I think I just confirmed it for her."

JJ let out a groan and rubbed a hand across her face. "This is bad, Emily."

Emily let out a soft sigh and cut her gaze away, needing a moment to control the sting of tears that burned at her lids before turning her attention back to JJ.

She knew that JJ's words yesterday morning had been too good to be true. It was easy to say they could face the future together in the comfort and privacy of her condo but actually facing the real world was a whole other matter.

"That's not what I mean, Em," JJ said quietly, reaching over and putting one hand over hers. "I'm not ashamed. I'm just worried about what this is going to mean at work tomorrow. You know that there are rules against this."

"I know." As members of the same team, they were not supposed to be dating. And, they hadn't exactly been discreet at the bar on Friday. Emily was fairly certain none of their teammates saw them making out on the dance floor but the fact that they'd left together, without a word of goodbye or explaination to anybody had obviously tipped off Garcia, at least, and most likely the others as well.

"So, what are we going to do?" she asked, hearing the way her voice shook even as she tried to keep it steady.

"What can we do? If anybody calls us out, I'm not going to lie. If I did that, it would be like denying you. Denying us."

Emily looked over at JJ in surprise.

"I told you, Em, I'm not ashamed."

Even though Emily was relieved to hear the words she couldn't help but wonder at the veracity of them. It couldn't be possible for someone to go from being straight and dating men to dating (and having sex with) a woman overnight and not have some reservations or doubts. Could it?

"Your kiss Friday night, I was suprised at how it made me feel. Being with you, it just felt right. Sure, we could write the first time off as alcohol and hormones, but neither of us were drunk when you woke me up in the middle of the night and still, it just felt right. I'm not going to deny the way you make me feel when you kiss me, when you touch me, even just laying next to me, just because you are a woman and I've never been with one before."

JJ met Emily's eye, holding her gaze as she tried to convey the truth of her feelings with words that didn't seem adequet. She knew that Emily had fears about whether this was real or just some passing whim and she knew that it was going to take some effort on her part to alleviate them.

Emily allowed herself a small smile in recognition of the words. "As romantic as that sounds, it doesn't solve our problem of what to do tomorrow if we get called on this."

JJ was silent for a moment. "If that happens, then I'll switch to another unit."

"JJ, no."

" I love the BAU, but I can do my job on any team. You can only be a profiler on one."

"You can't sacrifice your career-"

"I wouldn't be, Emily. I'd be balancing my career and my personal life."

Emily stared at her in stunned silence for a moment. She knew that she should argue. That she should fight JJ over this. And if it came down to it, she would but in this moment she was simply incredibly moved and all she could do was lean in for a slow, deep kiss.

"Mmm," JJ murmured as they pulled apart, her eyes fluttering faintly.

Emily agreed with a soft noise in the back of her throat as she gently pushed JJ onto her back and moved to straddle over her.

"I love you, so much" she whispered against the other woman's lips before capturing them in another slow kiss.

The moment of truth. Emily paused outside the doors and took a deep, fortifying breath. Beside her, she felt JJ doing the same thing. It was Monday morning and they were about to face their colleagues for the first time since Friday night. They didn't know how much the others knew, or what their reactions were going to be.

JJ had gone home late Sunday night but they had met up this morning to be each others moral support when they walked into the office. It was just now that Emily realized it would look like they'd arrived together. It was too late to really do anything about it now.

"Ready?" JJ asked.

"As I'll ever be."

With a visible squaring of her shoulders, JJ put on her Agent Jareau persona and pushed open the door. Emily followed a half step behind, her Agent Prentiss mask fully in place.

The first person they came across was Gideon. He was coming up the stairs from the bullpen as they reached the top. He glanced up from the file he was reading over.

"JJ. Prentiss," he acknowledged them with barely a glance and a nod and then was past them, moving away.

"Well, that was painless," JJ muttured. "Do you think he doesn't know?"

"It's Gideon," Emily reminded her. "He knows."

JJ nodded silently and led the way down the stairs.

Reid and Morgan looked up as they approached.

"Morning, JJ. Emily." He looked like he might have said something else, but Morgan cut him off with a long, low wolf whistle.

"Hot, damn," he exclaimed, breaking into a huge grin.

Emily and JJ exhanged glances, and grins. So far, so good.

Just then, Hotch appeared at the top of the stairs. "Prentiss, JJ, a word?" He dissapeared into his office without waiting for a response.

"Good luck, you guys," Reid said softly before turning his attention back to his desk.

Emily squeezed his shoulder in thanks and headed for the stairs, JJ close behind.

"Hotch?" she rapped on his door, which was open, then stepped into his office.

"Come in. Sit down."

The two women exchanged a look then sat down in the chairs opposite his desk.

"You know the bureau has rules against this," Hotch said, getting right to the point.

Both women nodded. Emily gripped her arm rest tightly. She really wanted to reach out and take JJ's hand but restrained herself. From JJ's white knuckle grip on her own chair, she sensed the feeling was mutual.

"I don't think that anyone on the team has any objections to the two of you. And if they did, I'd like to think that we could settle it internally. That being said, there are a lot of other agents who would object. And would try to use this against you, to bring you down or in an attempt to earn themselves a place in the BAU."

Emily and JJ both nodded.

"Just, please, keep that in mind when we're in the office or out in the field."

"You mean, you're okay with it, sir?" Emily asked, wanting to clarify.

Hotch nodded. "Of course. Personally, I don't believe the bureau has any place in people's bedrooms. An agents service record should speak for itself. And I know you both to be capable agents."

Emily let out a breath of relief, and she knew JJ well enough to know that she was having a similar reaction.

'I'm sorry that I even had to bring you in here to discuss it at all. Please believe that I didn't do it out of any lack of faith in your ability to do your jobs. It's just, I'd hate to lose you to beaurocricy."

"It's okay, Hotch. We get it," JJ assured him. Emily echoed her words.

He nodded, his eyes drifting down to the paperwork in front of him. A subtle, but clear dismissal.

Emily rose, her eyes meeting Hotch's one last time before she turned to leave. He met her gaze squarely and offered a small smile. She gave him a faint one in return before turning and following JJ out of the room.

You know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Pairing:** Emily/JJ

**Rating:** M for previous chapters. This one is pretty tame

**Summary:** A continuation of Champagne Mistakes.

**Author's Note:** This was supposed to be a oneshot but these characters just won't leave me alone so I'm going to keep with it until I'm out of ideas.

**Chapter 2**

It made things easier having the team know and support them. They were careful not to take advantage of or abuse their friends acceptance and understanding though. Both women knew that their relationship was putting everyone else, especially Hotch, in a tough spot, should Strauss, or anyone else higher up the chain of command find out about it.

They were careful when they were in the office and out in the field not to be overtly physical or flirty or behave in any way unprofessional towards each other but it was nice not having to hide their affection for each other all the time. It was a relief knowing that after a tough case if one or the other needed a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on during the flight home, the rest of the team accepted that. When they went out for dinner or drinks with the others it felt nice to be able to hold hands in public, exhange a kiss or hug in front of other people.

Not having to hide was one less challenge they had to face. And like any relationship, they had their share. One such challenge being, Emily's insecurity. Although confident in pretty much every other aspect of her life, from the briefing room to the field to the bedroom Emily just didn't seem to have that same self-assuredness when it came to JJ and their relationship.

The first time she had asked JJ to dinner, a couple of days after their weekend together, she had hovered just inside the doorway looking everywhere but into JJ's eyes and mumbled so quickly that JJ had to ask her to repeat what she'd said. At the time JJ had thought it cute and endearing. It had reminded her of when Emily had first joined the BAU, all earnest and eager to please.

But when it happened again a few days later JJ started to wonder. And after a couple weeks she realized that while Emily had no problem coming confidently to her in the bedroom, in taking control and taking charge she did not have that same confidence when it came to asking to share JJ's time. It was as if she was expecting to be shut down.

Just the site of her standing there awkwardly, half expectant, half reluctant, was enough to break JJ's heart.

The worst of it was, JJ knew where it stemmed from and she wasn't sure there was anything she could do about it. Her insecurities came from the fact that Emily had already said I love you, and she herself had not. There was a part of Emily that wondered, would probably always wonder, if this was real for JJ or not. Even if she did say "I love you", which she wasn't going to do just to ease Emily's mind, Emily would still wonder about the veracity of the words. She'd wonder if this was just an experiment or a fling. And JJ didn't know how to make her believe otherwise.

"I'm screwing things up with Emily," JJ said as she burst into Garcia's office and slumped down in the empty chair beside her friend.

"I'm sure that's not true," Garcia said, spinning her own chair around to face her.

JJ leaned forward, elbows on her knees, head in her hands. "It is, Pen. She's slipping away from me, I can feel it." She closed her eyes against the sting of tears. "She started telling me that she loved me every day since we got together," JJ said softly.

"Really?" The surprise in Garcia's voice was evident. JJ understood the sentiment. She'd been surprised to realize how romantic Emily was at first two, but now she realized that it made perfect sense. The other woman didn't do anything half way. It stood to reason she'd love just as intensely as she did everything else.

"Yeah," JJ said, her voice a soft sigh. "Sometimes, I don't think she even realizes she's saying it. Mostly it's when she's half asleep or..." she trailed off, a blush heating her cheeks as she realized she was about to give away a very intimate detail into their sex life.

She didn't have to finish her sentence though, from the faint humming sound that Garcia made in the back of her throat, she knew her friend made the connection.

"She hasn't said it in a week," she added softly.

"Oh, Jayje." Garcia's voice was soft and sympathetic. JJ lifted her head from her hands and met her friends gaze, tears coursing unchecked down her cheeks.

"What am I going to do, Penelope? I can't lose her. I think I'm falling in love with her."

"Well, hon, I think you need to figure that out." Garcia's voice was gentle, but firm. "If you can't love her the way that she loves you..that's not really fair to either of you."

It took JJ a moment to process what the other woman had said. "Garcia," she protested her friend's words, hearing and hating the slight whine that came into her voice but unable to supress it.

"You know I'm right, Jayje. I know that you care about Emily. But, if this is just a physical thing for you, you have to end it now."

"It's way more than just physical. I'm happy, truly, completely happy for the first time in a long time. I..I can't imagine not being with her."

Garcia gave her a knowing smile and a nod. "I think you have your answer then, don't you sweetie?"

JJ considered that. "Thank you, Garcia," she said, gripping her friend's face in her hands and pulling her close to place a loud, smacking kiss on her forehead. "You are awesome."

"I know," she tossed back with a grin. "Just call me the love guru."

JJ headed back to her office, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She stopped as she rounded the corner of the bullpen and leaned against the railing, watching the activity below. Morgan was at his desk, Emily and Reid were both leaning on the edges of it, the three of them engaged in a conversation that had them all smiling. She watched as Reid said something and the others laughed. Emily's laugh was the loudest of all, a real, deep, belly laugh accompanied by a grin that lit up her whole face. Even though she wasn't in on the joke, JJ felt her own lips tugging up in an answering smile.

She hadn't heard that laugh, seen that smile, in awhile now.

She had to tell Emily that she loved her. Now. It might not solve all their problems but it would be a big step.

She spent a few minutes trying to come up with some romantic gesture to accomapny her words but her mind drew a blank. She decided it didn't matter. There would be time later for romance. Right now she just needed Emily to know.

Taking a deep breath she headed down the stairs and crossed the room to join the others.

"Hey, JJ." Morgan was the first to greet her. At her words the others looked up.

With a nod and a smile Reid shifted slightly, creating a space within the circle for her to join in.

"Hey, Morgan. Spence." She let her hand rest on his shoulder for a moment then turned to Emily.

"Care to join me for a quick lunch?" she asked. Emily studied her for a moment and JJ knew she'd caught her red rimmed eyes and knew she'd been crying.

After a slight hesitation, Emily nodded and quietly agreed.

They said goodbye to the guys and headed for the elevator. The ride down was quiet, as was the walk down the street towards the out of the way little diner they'd found a few weeks ago where they were unlikely to run into anyone they knew. It was a good place to have a quiet lunch without the risk of exposure if anyone saw them holding hands or sitting a little too close together.

JJ snuck glances at Emily out of the corner of her eye, watching the way she bit her bottom lip, nervously nipping at it as they walked. Her eyes were distant, her face blank. JJ realized in that moment that Emily was afraid this conversation was going to take an entirely different direction.

She reached out and took Emily's hand, lacing their fingers together and giving a squeeze. A moments pause and them Emily squeezed back and glanced over at JJ, giving her a small, cautious smile.

"I love you," JJ said, softly but clearly.

You know the drill. Love it, hate it, let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**For all disclaimers, see chapter 1.**

**Author's Note:**This is a short one, but I promise a longer one is coming. It's already in the works and will be up as soon as I can get it typed.

Thank you so much for all of your encouraging comments. I love that you are all enjoying the story and I will put in my best efforts to ensure that the story continues to be enjoyable.

**Chapter 3**

Emily cast a sideways glance over at JJ, taking in the red-rimmed eyes and the determined set of her shoulders and felt her heart seize painfully in her chest. When JJ took her hand and squeezed gently, Emily returned the pressure and glanced over, preparing for the blow.

_"Emily, I think we should back to being just friends."_

_"Emily, I care about you but this isn't working. It's not what I want."_

_"Em, it's over."_

A dozen variations, all in that same sad, apologetic tone ran through her head.

"I love you."

It took a moment for the words to register and when they did, she found herself suddenly wishing that they were in her bedroom in her condo so she could lay her beautiful blond lover out and ravage her properly instead of being on a busy street downtown.

"Say it again," she requested, a stupid, goofy grin pulling at the corners of her lips.

"I love you," JJ repeated and Emily's grin widened.

In that moment it didn't matter that they were outside in broad daylight. She had to have JJ in her arms, at least for a few minutes, to make this moment real. Spotting an alleyway up ahead, she pulled JJ into it, eliciting a startled sqwak from the other woman as she manuevered them into the shadows.

"Say it again," she murmured against JJ's lips as she pulled the other woman to her.

She felt, more than heard the words as their lips crashed together.

The brick wall behind her back was cold and rough, several corners jutted out and dug into her spine and shoulder blades but Emily wasn't aware of any of that. Her sole focus was on the feel of JJ pressed up against her so tightly there wasn't a milimeter of space between them, on the silky smoothness of hair between her fingers and the soft warmth of lips against hers.

"I love you, Em," JJ whispered as they pulled apart. "And, I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."

"JJ, no-" Emily started to protest but was cut off by JJ pressing a gentle kiss against her lips.

"I couldn't say it before I was ready. I know that. But, I see now what it was doing to you, and for that I apologize."

"JJ, it's-"

"Emily. Don't."

Emily sighed, but she couldn't help but feel a rush or warmth that JJ knew her so well.

"Don't brush this off and pretend that it's nothing. You were hurting. Why didn't you say something?"

"Because, I didn't want to be _that_ woman. The insecure one who needs constant reassurance from her partner."

"Is that how you thought I would see you?"

Emily huffed out a breath. "Yes. No. Maybe it was more how I was seeing myself."

It had been hard these last couple of weeks knowing that her feelings for JJ were different than the other woman's were for her. She knew that JJ cared for her. And she knew that JJ was attracted to her, physically but she didn't know what this was, what they were, to JJ. Logically, rationally, she knew that JJ would never willfully hurt her. She wasn't using Emily to experiment like she never did in college or anything like that but it didn't mean that JJ wasn't capable of hurting her if she decided that this wasn't what she wanted.

Knowing that JJ loved her back wasn't a guarantee that they would live happily ever after. There were no guarantees. But it made forever feel a little more like a possibility.

"Well, you know how I see you?"

Emily shook her head. "No, How?"

"I see you as someone who risked everything and put themself out there. You didn't deny your feelings. You didn't pretend they weren't there. You told me that you loved me, knowing that I couldn't return those feelings just yet and you waited for me to come to my own decision. You never put any kind of pressure on me. That, Emily Prentiss, takes a lot of strength. And," she continued with a grin, "I think strength like that deserves to be rewarded."

"Is that so?" Emily drawled. "And what kind of reward would that be?"

JJ gave her a grin that very clearly stated, wouldn't you like to know? and stepped back out of her reach. "Our lunch break is almost over. We really should grab something to eat."

Emily let out a groan and reached to pull the other woman back to her but her grasp came up empty.

"Come on, Em. You need to eat something. You're going to need your strength later." JJ's eyes held all sorts of promise.

"I'm not going to get any work done today," Emily muttered as she followed JJ out of the alley.

FIN

Any and all comments are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**For all disclaimers, see chapter 1**

**Author's Note:** This chapter does not add to the storyline. It does not advance the plot. It is purely smut. And I sincerely hope that you enjoy it.

Thanks, everyone for your comments and encouragement. It means a lot to me knowing that you are enjoying the story.

**Chapter 4**

JJ's words earlier that afternoon had been meant to wind Emily up. She hadn't expected to feel the effects of them herself but the anticipation of the upcoming night with her lover was putting her on edge as well. To say that she had some trouble concentrating when they got back from lunch was an understatement. Her mind was shot. All she could think about was the various things she would like to do to Emily when she got her alone.

For the first time in a long while she was greatful for the isolation of her office. Most days she sought out the companionship and comradrie of the bullpen at least once or twice. She'd stop and chat with the others on the way to the coffee room for a refill or to pass on files. Today, she was in no shape to carry on any type of conversation and remained at her desk until a respectable quitting time.

When she passed through the bullpen on her way out, she noticed Emily still at her desk, files spread out in front of her, head down in what looked like intense concentration. JJ could tell from the constant twitching of her fingers and the rythmic tapping of her foot that she was faking it. Emily only fidgeted when she was distracted.

She called a goodbye to Reid, who was still at his desk as well. Emily's head shot up at the sound of her voice.

"I'm heading out. Are you about ready to go?" JJ asked.

Emily nodded as she hastily shoved the files closed. She was standing and slinging her bag over her shoulder almost before JJ had even finished speaking.

They walked to the elevators together, the tension in the air during the ride down was palpable. When they reached the lower parking garage they each headed towards their own cars. Even though most nights were spent together, arriving together in the same car every morning would but too conspicious.

The drive to JJ's place wasn't far but it still seemed way to long. She beat Emily there by a few minutes, having just made it inside when the other woman's car pulled up.

She greeted the other woman at the door with a smile, one hand reaching out to grab a fistful of blouse as she pulled the brunette closer to her and captured her lips with a kiss.

The door swung shut behind them and she backed Emily into it, pressing herself against the other woman as she kissed her with every ounce of passion and fire that she possesed.

"I love you," she whispered as the kiss broke off. Her lips never left skin though, as she kissed the corner of Emily's mouth, her cheek and down her jawline.

"I love you," she murmured into the side of Emily's neck as she nipped and sucked a path down it. "I love you," she breathed against Emily's collarbone as she scraped her teeth across the skin.

The utterances were just as much for her sake as they were for Emily's. Her feelings for Emily would likely be a sore point between them for awhile. Doubts like the ones Emily had been experiencing wouldn't just go away overnight, even if JJ had confessed her feelings. It was something she was going to need to be assured of again and again for a little while. Also, JJ liked saying it. She liked hearing the hitch of the other woman's breath as she was, momentarily, moved by emotion. She liked the feeling of closeness and intimacy that had nothing to do with sex that it brought her. And she liked the way Emily's skin tasted as she whispered the words.

"I love you, JJ." Emily's voice was low and hoarse and it cracked on the last syllable of her name.

She slid her hands up JJ's back, cupping the back of her head and tilting it up for another kiss. Their tongues teased and touched as hands tugged at clothing. JJ felt her jacket slide off her shoulders as she untucked Emily's blouse from her pants. She felt her shirt ride up and hands slide across the skin back as she ducked her head to kiss at the exposed skin of Emily's neck where her collar turned down.

When a hand slipped up beneath her shirt and cupped a breast through the fabric of her bra, she pulled back, eliciting a protest from the back of Emily's throat.

"I believe that his evening was about me rewarding you for your strength," JJ said, recalling their earlier conversation.

Emily's throat worked and she opened her mouth to speak, but JJ had already turned and was leading her towards the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, she instructed Emily to lie down on the bed. The brunette raised an eyebrow at her for a moment before complying. JJ settled herself on top of her, resting her weight on her knees as she took Emily's hands in hers and pressed them into the pillows above Emily's head. She leaned forward and captured Emily's lips, running her tongue across the bottom one before nibbling on it gently.

From Emily's lips she moved across her jawline down her neck, stopping for a moment at the senitive spot just behind her collarbone. Emily jerked her hands in JJ's grip, trying to get her hands free.

"No," JJ whispered against her skin. "No touching. Not yet."

Emily stilled her movements and JJ returned her attention to the skin before her. She ran her tongue across the dip at the hollow of Emily's throat, feeling the other woman shiver beneath her, then blew on it lightly. She scraped her teeth against the goosebumps that rose there and then began to go lower.

She'd reached the top of Emily's chest when the other woman started fighting her hold once again.

"Emily," she warned, and the brunette stilled.

Taking both wrists in one hand, JJ used the free one to reach between them and pop the shiny pearl snaps of Emily's blouse then slid it over the smooth fabric of her bra, tracing the shape of her breast through the fabric.

She almost lost her grip on Emily's wrists as the other woman tugged against her once again.

She turned her face up to meet Emily's eye as she reached back to pull the handcuffs from their place at the small of her back. She dangled them on her finger in front of her lovers face.

"If you don't stop fighting me..." she threatened.

The look in Emily's eyes was unreadable, and for a moment JJ thought maybe she had gone to far.

Then, Emily nodded.

"If you think that you can make love to me without me touching you, you're going to need those things."

JJ held her eye for a moment, making sure this was really, truly okay. Then she carefully laced the cuffs through a slat in the headboard and clasped them around Emily's wrists.

And then all she could do was stare. The sight of her lover lying with her hands cuffed above her head, dark hair in dissarray across the pillow behind her head and blouse undone, revealing her toned stomach and just a hint of her lacy black bra was so undeniably sexy that she needed a moment to process it.

Emily offered up a sexy smile and JJ felt a heat course through her.

She reached out and ran her hands down the length of Emily's body, her fingers skimming over smooth skin and taunt muscles. Emily's breath caught and then was released in a ragged gasp.

JJ leaned forward and her lips followed the path her fingers had taken. Taking her time and exploring every inch of skin she worked her way down Emily's torso, nipping and sucking at her breasts, along the line of her ribcage and across her stomach. Muscles quivered under the pressure of her lips and tongue and Emily groaned in a mixture of arousal and frustration The metal cuffs clanked against the headboard as she strained against them, her body arching off the bed towards JJ's touch.

"God...Jayje..please..." Emily muttered incoherently as JJ's lips hovered at the top of her thigh.

JJ kissed her, slow and languishing, lips nipping, teeth scrapping, tongue forging a path inside her. Emily's thighs clamped around her head, holding her in place. Not that she intended to go anywhere just yet.

She took her time, pushing Emily slowly closer and closer to the edge until the other woman was pleading with her in breathy tones, her hips writhing so much that JJ was having trouble keeping herself in place.

Finally relenting JJ gripped Emily's hips tightly, holding her in place as she increased the tempo of her thrusts. She brought one hand down in between them and with the combined efforts of fingers and tongue she quickly pushed Emily over the edge, almost tumbling over it herself as Emily came, with JJ's name on her lips.

She gently stroked her lover, feeling the muscles quivering around her fingers as she came down. Finally, when the walls around her finger relaxed she pulled out and climbed up Emily's body to lay alongside her.

Emily lay quiet, eyes closed, her breathing rapid and shallow. After a moment she opened her eyes and turned to JJ.

"Can you take these cuffs of me now?" she asked softly.

"Of course." JJ fumbled for her keys and unlocked them. Only to find herself being rolled and pinned a moment later.

"Turnabouts fair play," came the whisper in her ear, followed by the faint click and cold metal of cuffs closing around her wrists.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Pairing: **Emily/JJ Criminal Minds

**Timeline:** second season

**Summary:** A night of drinking and dancing leads to much more.

**Author's Note:** I would like to say thank you to everyone who's followed the story thus far and taken the time to comment. I really, truly, appreciate it. Your comments make my day.

**Chapter **

An hour or so later they lay, curled together beneath the blankets, their bodies a tangle of arms and legs.

"Emily, can I ask you a question?"

JJ's voice pulled Emily out of the state of drifting, somewhere in between sleep and wakefulness that she had been in.

"Mmm, sure," she mumbled, sleepily.

"That first night we were together and you said you loved me..."

"Yeah?"

"If I hadn't remembered you weren't ever going to tell me, where you?"

Emily considered lying but after a moment decided JJ deserved the truth.

"No."

"Why not?" JJ asked, the hurt in her voice unmistakable.

"You have to realize, Jayje, that this, how we came to be, that doesn't happen. In most cases, crushes on straight girls do not end well." She bit the words off, trying not to tase the bitter memories. "That morning, I was just greatful that you weren't freaked out. Romantic feelings aside, I considered you a friend and it would have hurt to lose you."

"You really thought you would lose me?"

"It's happened before."

"Ah, Em." JJ's grip on her waist tightened as she raised her head, resting it on Emily's chin to look up at her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Emily didn't. It had been a long time ago and she believed the past was best left in the past. But she she knew that if she refused, JJ would think that she didn't want to open up.

"There's not much to tell," she said finally. "I was seventeen and was just starting to realize that my feelings for the girls in my class were different than what other girls felt for their friends. I fell for one of my friends. When I told her, she stopped talking to me."

That wasn't the only relationship that had been affected by her sexuality. There had been others who turned their backs on her, friends and colleagues, but it was the one that stung the most.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Em," JJ said. "But did you really think that I would react the same way as an immature teenager?" JJ's voice was soft but the indignation in her tone was clear.

Emily forced herself not to react to the aggressive tone, knowing that her lover didn't have the experience with this as she did. She didn't know what it was like to have someone you cared about, that you thought you knew, turn on you simply for being who you were.

"JJ, she's not the only one who's reacted like that. I've gotten adverse reactions throughout my adult life as well. It's something we're both going to have to deal with," she reminded JJ gently. They had been luck so far. The only people they'd told was their team, who had been supportive but not everybody would be.

"I know. Though, I have to admit, outside of you and the team, there aren't very many people who's opininons matter to me."

"Well, then you're lucky that the people you care about have accepted you for who you are," Emily said, though she couldn't help wondering whether JJ's opinion would change once she told her parents. If they reacted badly would JJ's confidence be shaken?

"I know," JJ admitted. "You're luck too you know. You've got people looking out for you, too. When we first got together, Derek pulled me aside and told me that I had better treat you right, and not hurt you."

Emily turned to her, startled. "Really?" She was surprised and pleased. She had been growing closer to the other members of the team over the past few months, talking books with Derek, sci-fi with Reid and girl stuff with Garcia. She'd been slowly earning the respect of Gideon and Hotch through competent case work and her efforts in the field. She knew that she was a capable agent and a useful member of the team but she had only been working with them for a short time and JJ had been with them for several years now. She had just assumed that if for some reason they were to break up, the others would side with JJ.

"They love you," JJ said. "Even if we were to break up, that wouldn't change."

"I know," Emily said, admitting a truth that had been difficult for her to come to but one that she was pleased to discover. "And believe me, it's not something I take for granted."

JJ fell silent and returned her head to it's place, resting against her shoulder.

"How long?" Her voice broke the silence again a few minutes later.

"Huh?"

"You said you loved me. For how long?"

Emily thought back, trying to pinpoint the moment she realized. 'I don't know, exaclty. I knew I was attracted to you the first time I saw you, in Hotch's office. And I knew I wanted to get to know you better after we spent a couple hours together going over the forms and protocols for joining the BAU. After awhile, I started to think of you as a friend. I'm not sure when it shifted into something more."

"And you really weren't going to tell me?"

"No."

"You would have given all of this up?"

"I honestly didn't think that this was a possibilty. If I had believed for even a second that you would return my feelings I would have told you sooner."

"Were you ever even going to tell me you were gay?"

Emily thought about that for a moment. "I would have, eventually. I was never afraid you wouldn't accept me if I told you," she hastened to reassure her, in case JJ had thought that was the case. She had been certain that JJ would not reject her for being gay. She hadn't been so sure JJ wouldn't be freaked out if she told her she was in love with her, but she knew that her sexuality would not be a problem. "It's just one of those things that becomes a grey area when you're trying to keep your personal life and your private life seperate."

JJ nodded. "You want to be part of the team, to feel close to the people you work with but at the same time you want to keep some things that are just yours."

"Exactly."

It was nice that JJ understood what she was trying to say and where she was coming from. Their jobs were similar in many ways so they both understood the pressures that the other one was facing. Most of the relationships Emily had been in, her job had been the most destructive factor. She couldn't plan weekends or holidays, she couldn't even plan dinner because she never knew when she was going to be wheels up at a moments notice. It was nice coming home to somebody who understood that side of her life and didn't feel like her job was an intrusion on their relationship.

"You know, this is the best relationship I've been in, in a really long time," JJ said softly. "I'm sorry it had to start the way that it did."

"What do you mean?"

"I wish that we hadn't been drinking. That we had come together of our own violation."

"Can I make a confession?" Emily said, after a moment's silence.

"What's that?"

"I wasn't drunk."

"What?" JJ's head shot up, almost banging Emily's chin.

"I wasn't drunk."

"I saw you drinking."

"Yeah, a couple glasses of champagne. I just let the guys think I was drunk so they'd relax. I was a little buzzed but I wasn't drunk."

JJ stared at her in silence and Emily waited on pins and needles for her to say something, anything.

"Okay, now I feel really, really bad."

"What, why?"

"Because, you were in _love_ with me. I was just drunk. And horny," she added with a blush. "Our first time should have been special."

"It was special. I got to be with you and that was enough. If we had only had that one night, if you had sobered up and decided that you weren't interested in sleeping with me anymore I would have been happy we'd gotten to be with each other that one time." It wasn't quite a lie. She had been dissapointed and hurt when JJ had written their lovemaking as a one time, drunken thing, but she would have dealt with it. And she would have cherished that one night.

JJ gave her a look, one that said she didn't believe a word of what Emily had said, "That's sweet. It's bullshit, but it's sweet. I remember how your voice sounded when I came downstairs that morning and you pushed me away."

Emily didn't have anything to say to that. She had wanted so badly to believe JJ, when she told her that they could make a go of a relationship. It had been hard, pushing off her advances.

"I'm sorry, that our first time couldn't have been better."

"I'm pretty sure you said it was amazing," Emily teased.

"You know what I mean. Under better circumstances. I mean, dammit, Em. I only remember pieces of that night. How do you think it makes me feel, knowing that our first time together, I was so drunk that I can't even remember all of it?"

"I'm sorry, Jayje. I wish there was some way I could change that for you," Emily said, pulling JJ down to lie with her again. "Although, does it really matter how it started? Doesn't all that matter that it did? And we're here now?"

"I guess," JJ murmured into her shoulder.

Emily hugged JJ tight against her, feeling her breath ghosting against her neck as her breathing deepened and slowed. When she was certain her lover was on her way to sleep, Emily closed her eyes as well, letting herself fall back into drifting once again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimers:** I own nothing. The characters belong to CBS and whoever else owns rights.

**Pairing: **Emily/JJ Criminal Minds

**Rating: **M

**Summary:**A night of drinking and dancing leads to much more.

**Timeline:**Second season, though no specific episodes are mentioned.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment of the previous chapters. It means the world to me that you guys are enjoying my efforts.

And now on with the story

JJ paced the length of the bullpen, skirting the edges of desks and the odd elbow or leg that stuck out into the aisle without even seeing the obstacles in her path. All around her agents took phone calls, worked on their computers or stood sipping coffee and chatting by the coffee machine in the corner. None of them appeared to notice the press liasion who was practically climbing out of her skin as she awaited word from her team, who were out on a raid.

She'd been in the middle of briefing the press when Garcia had called with a piece of info that had pulled the various pieces of the case together and gave their unsub a name and an address. There hadn't been time for them to wait for her to finish with the press and she hadn't expected them to anyway. But, that didn't mean she didn't still hate being here knowing that the others, that Emily, was out there.

She knew that Emily would be one of the first agents through the door, putting herself in harms way without hesitation if it meant being able to bring their subjext in without anyone else getting hurt.

JJ hated not being able to be there, even though logically she knew that her presence would not change things. Emily would still be one of the first through the door and she would still be in harms way. In fact, her presence would probably make things worse. Her being there would split Emily's focus. She'd be keeping an eye on JJ, ensuring her safety, instead of paying full attention to catching the subject.

She supposed that was the difference between caring about your team mates and being in love with one of them. When you cared about your team you worried about their safety but ultimately trusted they could take care of themselves. But if you were in love with one of them you wanted to protect them, even if they were fully capable of taking care of themself.

It was, JJ had to admit, a pretty good reason for the no fraternization rule.

But just because she understood the rule didn't mean that she liked it. And even though she knew Emily was perfectly capable of handling herself in the field JJ still wished she was there.

The ringing of her phone on her hip startled her out of her thoughts. She stopped in mid stride and pulled her cell from it's holder then paused before answering. Emily always called her after a raid to let her know how things had gone. However, if something were to happen to Emily during a raid someone, probably Hotch, would likely call and break the news before she heard it from someone else. Cautiously she checked the call screen and let out a sigh of relief.

"Emily."

"I'm fine," Emily opened with, skipping the pleasantries and jumping right in. "The EMT's cleared me. I'm fine. But our guy put up a fight. We lost one of the local agents. And he got a couple of hits in when we took him down. I'm a little banged up."

"Where are you now?" JJ asked.

"We're heading back now. Maybe five, ten minutes away."

"I'll see you then," JJ said and closed her phone. It wasn't the parting words she would have liked to use but in an office full of agents it was all she could do.

Ten minutes later the doors swung open and the raid team began to trickle in. JJ's eyes scanned each face, searching out the members of her team. Searching out Emily. When she finally caught site of her, she stiffled a gasp. A large burise had formed across her cheek, a purple-red stain made more stark by her pale complexion and her lip was split and swollen. Walking just a step behind her was Derek, who was sporting a bruise on his chin and a cut across his forhead but JJ barely noticed him.

Emly met her eyes across the room and for a single moment JJ's heart siezed in her chest as she acknowledged how close she had come to losing her. A raid could go bad very quickly. All it took was a split second for a bullet to end a life. It could just as easily have been Emily who had been killed today and not that local agent.

She closed the distance between them, stopping a foot or so away. For a moment she felt a surge of resentment, at all the other agents, at the job, because all she wanted to do was hug her girlfriend and she couldn't.

_To hell with it_, she decided a second later and took a step closer only to be stopped by Emily, who shook her head.

"Emily." She kept her voice low.

"It's not worth our jobs," Emily said. Seeing JJ's frown she took a step closer. "Look, if an unsub puts me in the hospital, I fully expect you to sit by my bedside and hold my hand. But for a couple of bumps and bruises, we can wait until we get back to the hotel."

Reluctantly, JJ nodded.

By now the rest of the team had joined them. Derek and Spencer flanked Emily on either side, protective even though she didn't need protecting just now. Gideon stood to JJ's right and Hotch was on her other side, one hand resting faintly against the small of her back as he said, "Jason and I will take care of the paperwork. Why don't you guys head back to the hotel. Get some rest."

"I'm not going to argue with that," Derek said, rubbing his jaw.

"Me either, "Emily agreed.

With a smile of thanks to her boss, JJ followed the others outside to the cars.

"So, what happened?" JJ questioned once they were alone in Emily's hotel room.

Emily shrugged off her jacket and tossed it onto the bench just inside the doorway then climbed onto the bed. She let out a groan as she settled herself against the pillows and closed her eyes.

"Em?" JJ prompted her lover as she stepped into the small bathroom and started the tap. A nice soak in a warm bath would go a long way to sooth Emily's sore muscles.

When she stepped back out into the room, Emily was lying still on the bed, though she opened her eyes when she heard JJ moving around.

"Some damn rookie agent-what?" she cut herself off in mid sentence, noticing the smirk that JJ couldn't quite hide.

"An argument could be made that you are something of a rookie agent."

"I've been with the bureau for twelve years."

"And out in the field for only about eight months," JJ reminded her as she handed her some asprin and a bottle of water. Emily rolled her eyes and tossed the pills into her mouth. After taking a swallow of water, she continued her story.

"Some rookie agent," she repeated, giving JJ a look, as if daring her to contradict, " cleared the room but our guy was hiding in an alcove between the kitchen and the living room. Morgan and I came into the room and he started shooting. He hit the local agent in the neck. I got a shot off, clipped his shoulder. He dropped his weapon and came at us swinging. He got a couple of punches in," Emily said, indicating her face. "Caught me in the ribs and the side too before Morgan and I could get him down. He fought us the whole way. You saw Morgan's face. And he kicked Reid a couple of times. I think he got him in the..." she trailed off, seeing the wince on JJ's face. "Yeah. That boy's a lot tougher than he looks. He held himself together and helped us get him loaded into the car."

JJ nodded, pleased that Emily seemed proud of Spencer's actions. She knew that a lot of people underestimated the young genius but he had been through a lot and was stronger than most people gave him credit for.

"You know, there's a reason Morgan and I like to be the first ones through the door," Emily continued. "And it's not ego or adrenaline. It's because we both know that if we say the room is clear, the room is clear. We know we can trust ourselves and we know we can trust each other."

JJ knew there was truth in Emily's words. The first one's through the door were the ones in the most danger. And they had the greatest responsibilty. They never knrew what they were in for when they breached that barrier and the safety of the agents behind them rested on their shoulders.

"I know, Em. It's just kind of hard knowing that you're in danger like that."

"It's my job," Emily said, sounding weary.

"And, you do love your job," JJ said, the words coming out harder and more accusing than she had intended.

"I love you too," Emily replied, but the words were not kind. They were harsh, brittle.

"And, if you had to chose?" JJ threw the question at Emily, the words coming out before she could censor them.

"You might not like the decision I make," Emily shot back as she rolled out of bed and started for the bathroom, not glancing back to see the stricken look she knew would be on JJ's face.

"I'm going to soak in the tub," she said over her shoulder as she stepped into the bathroom and nudged the door with her heel. It swung shut with a bang that made her wince.

"What the hell?" she muttered as she leaned against the counter and stared down at the scuffed marble.

She heard a door slam and knew that JJ had gone to her hotel room. Her temper flared, then died.

"Fuck," she hissed through her teeth as she she tried to figure out how things had gone wrong so quickly.

This was not how today was supposed to have ended. After the horrific raid Emily should have returned to the hotel, taken a long, hot bath and then curled up in bed with JJ to make love, talk and try to forget that someone had died today.

Carefully she pulled her shirt up over her head, biting her lip as the fabric scratched against the bruises on her side. She let the garment fall to the floor and continued to undress, moving stiffly as she slid her pants and the rest of her clothing off. Moving carefully so as not to jar her aching ribs she slipped into the tub and submerged herself in the steaming water and stared up at the ceiling tiles, watching them seemingly shift and quiver. When her lungs started to protest she slid up, resting her head against the lip of the tub and shut the flow of water off with a nudge of her toe.

She was not one to cry but tears pricked at her eyelids as the events of the day slammed down around her shoulders. She could have been killed today. The subject, Vincent Anton had shot agent Tollier and then turned his aim on her. His shot had missed her by milimeters, passing by her ear so closely she'd felt the heat before it had lodged into the doorframe behind her.

She had almost lost her life.

Emily closed her eyes and tried to shut her mind down. Tried to blank out the memory of staring down the barrel of a gun being pointed at her. Tried to block out the site of blood pooling around Tollier's head as his eyes stared sightlessly up at her. And most of all, she tried to block out pain in her chest that fighting with JJ caused.

She couldn't keep herself from going over their words and trying to figure out what the hell had happened. One moment they were talking and the next JJ's words were harsh, stinging and Emilys were hard and angry.

_"And, you do love your job," JJ had said, sounding hurt and angry by that. _

_"I love you, too," Emily had shot back, angry that JJ seemed to be questioning her committment to their relationship and using her devotion to her job as a weapon. _

_"And, if you had to chose?" JJ had challenged._

_"You might not like the choice I make." Emily had snapped. _

She went over and over the small fight in her head, trying to figure out where it had come from. It had been a stupid argument. And Emily still wasn't sure why they'd had it.

The bath water was starting to cool so Emily rose from the tub and dried herself off carefully. She pulled on the pajamas she'd left hanging on the hook behind the door and combed her fingers through her hair. When she stepped out into the hotel room the first thing she noticed was the silence. It hung in the air, a reminder that things not normal. Not okay. If things were okay, JJ would be sitting on the bed watching tv or reading or be on the phone with Hotch, making sure that the paperwork had been taken care of.

With a heavy heart she opened the door that connected her hotel room with JJ's. Her lover was standing by the window, staring out into the darkness beyond. If she heard Emily's entrance she didn't acknowledge it. Emily closed the distance between them, hesitating for just a momment when she reached the other woman then wrapped her arm around JJ's waist and rested her forhead against her back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into the fabric of JJ's shirt. "I don't know why I said that. If you're asking me to chose-"

"I'm not," JJ said, cutting her off. "And I never would. It was unfair of me to say that. I was..I didn't mean mean to pick a fight with you. But I almost lost you today and that scared me."

"It scared me too."

"It was easier to get mad at you than to think about what my life would be like without you in it."

Emily opened her mouth to reply but was cut off before she got a word in.

"And don't tell me that's not something I have to worry about. You can't promise that."

"I know," Emily said softly. She wished she could. She wished that she could tell JJ with absolute certainty that nothing would ever happen to her.

There really wasn't much more she could say, so she pulled JJ tighter against her and simply held her close.


	7. Authors Note

I stopped posting here because I stopped getting responses. I'm not going to keep posting a story if it doesn't seem like anyone is reading it. I have still been working on it over on on livejournal. I just finished Chapter 11. If you want me to keep posting it here, you've got to let me know you're still reading.


	8. Chapter 7

**For all disclaimers, see Chapter 1.**

**Author's Note:** Thank you, all of you, for letting me know you're still interested in reading this story. I stopped posting because it seemed like a waste of time and effort (fanfiction is a pain in the a## to post on) because nobody seemed to be reading. But, I have no problem continuing to post now that I know that the story is still being read. I'll post a chapter or two at a time until the story is all caught up. For anyone who doesn't want to wait

my livejournal screen name is quick_as_zoe. ( won't let me post it as a link)

Chapter 7

A week had passed since the incident in Dallas and even though they had both apologized and forgiven each other there was a tension between them that hadn't been there before. JJ was being a bit quieter than normal lately and Emily was more cautious with her words. It was as if they were being careful around each other to avoid setting off another argument. A month ago, Emily would have thought the idea ridiculous. They were both even tempered people. They were logical and rational. Neither one was prone to flying off the handle at the slightest provocation or pick a fight. And yet, a few words had sparked an argument and led them to this.

She was taken aback by how quickly their words had turned hurtful. Yes, their nerves had been raw that day but that didn't excuse their behaviour and it certainly didn't inspire her with confidence that it wouldn't happen again. They worked closely together in a highly stressful job. Situations like the one in Dallas were going to arise with frequency. If they couldn't learn how to control themselves at times like that, their relationship would not survive.

"We need to talk," Emily said as they cleared the table after a quiet, slightly awkward dinner.

JJ glanced up from the plates she was stacking and after a moment, nodded. She didn't have to ask about what. "Okay. Yeah," she agreed, wiping her hands on her pants and leaning against the counter, facing Emily.

"Not here. Let's go sit in the living room." She had a feeling this was going to be a hard conversation and she couldn't have it with JJ standing across the room like that, facing her like an adversary.

JJ followed her wordlessly into her living room and took a seat at one end of the couch while Emily settled in at the other. They sat facing each other, legs crossed, knees just faintly touching. There was something about the light, casual contact that soothed Emily just a little, making her feel like they could get through this conversation.

"About Dallas," she began, then paused, not sure how to say this. She had so many regrets about that night. There were so many things she wished she had done or said instead of snapping at JJ. Emily knew how worried JJ got when she was out in the field and JJ couldn't be there. When JJ had voiced her fears, Emily should have taken the other woman into her arms and comforted her rather than letting her exhaustion get the better of her. She should have controlled herself better. But, she hadn't.

"Do you think that I put my job before our relationship?"

"What? No."

"But, you said-"

"I know what I said," JJ cut her off. "And it was stupid. I hate it when you're out in the field and I'm sidelined and I took it out on you."

"If you want to be out in the field more, you could talk to Hotch. I'm sure he'd..." she trailed off as JJ shook her head.

"It's not about being out in the field. I enjoy my job. I'm content with my role on the team. It's just..." she trailed off and took a breath, gathering her thoughts. "I don't like feeling powerless. If something were to happen to you, I wouldn't be there."

Emily reached out and took JJ's hands in her own, intertwining their fingers together and giving her a squeeze. She didn't say anything but in truth she was glad that if anything were to happen to her JJ wouldn't be there to witness it.

"And that's why you've been thinking about asking me to choose?" Emily asked, piecing together all the things that JJ had said and not said.

JJ paled and suddenly dropped her gaze. "I would never ask that of you."

'But, you've thought about it?"

After a moments hesitation, JJ nodded.

Emily had been in this situation before. She'd had lovers who thought her job was sexy and exciting when she told them about it but couldn't handle the reality of long hours and an unpredictable schedule. She'd been asked to choose between them and her career before and she always walked away from the conversation feeling used and manipulated because each and every one of those women had known what they were getting into when they'd started dating her.

But, this wasn't just anyone. This was JJ. And she wasn't trying to force Emily into anything. She wasn't issuing any ultimatums or trying to make her feel bad about her career. She was just scared.

"I know it's not fair to even think it. And like I said, I would never ask you to choose."

Emily cut her off by tugging on their joined hands and pulling her forward until their faces were inches apart.

"If it came down to it, I'd chose you," she said against JJ's lips before capturing them with her own for a soft, sweet kiss. "And, I'm sorry I ever implied otherwise," she continued when they pulled apart.

It had been a knee jerk reaction. For a moment she'd forgotten who she was talking too. She felt like she was under attack and so she reacted the way she reacted whenever one of her girlfriends pressured her about her job. She'd shut down. But, JJ wasn't just another girlfriend. Emily fully intended to spend the rest of her life with JJ, if she'd have her.

"That's sweet, Em. And I appreciate the gesture. I do. But, I don't want you to have to do that." It was JJ's turn to give Emily's hands a squeeze. " Yes, you would do it for me, but at what cost to you? You love being a profiler. The BAU. It's not just a job, it's who you are. And I love that about you. If you gave that up for me you'd be giving up a part of yourself and eventually you'd resent me for it."

"JJ-"

"Em, you have to realize, I only have those thoughts in my worst moments. When I'm pacing around some unfamiliar bullpen in a strange city waiting for word on what's happened. Nintey precent of the time I'm so proud of you and the work that you do. The fact that you're devoted to your job and get so much satisfaction from it is one of the things that I love about you. Besides," she added with a faint smile. "You look really hot in your kevlar vest."

"Oh, you think so, do you?" Emily asked, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

She knew that this was something they were going to have to talk about from time to time. If JJ's fears got the better of her, she had to feel like she could come to Emily and tell her. And Emily would have to be on guard against letting old habits take over. She had to be receptive to what JJ was saying and not go on the defensive. It would be a struggle for both of them but she was satisfied for now. So, she let the conversation drop and leaned in to kiss JJ again.

"Mmhm," JJ murmured against her lips. "It's sexy," she added when they'd pulled apart.

"You know what I think is sexy?" Emily asked as she leaned forward, pushing JJ backwards until she was laying against the arm of the couch and Emily was kneeling over her.

"What's that?" JJ asked

Emily dipped her head and pressed her lips against the side of JJ's neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot just below her jawline. JJ tilted her head back and let out a soft moan

"I think that's sexy," she whispered, smiling into the soft flesh. "You know what else is sexy?"

"What?"

Emily kissed her way down JJ's neck and nipped at her collarbone, then soothed it with a gentle press of her tongue. JJ moaned again as her hands came up to grip at Emily's hips.

"That's sexy."

Emily's fingers had been working the buttons on JJ's blouse and now she pushed the fabic aside and slid the straps of her bra down her shoulders. She tilted her head a bit more and took one of JJ's breasts into her mouth. She sucked and nipped and blew teasing breath across the dampened skin. JJ's body arched up off the couch, seeking more contact as she let out a breathy gasp and clutched at the back of Emily's shirt.

"That's pretty damn sexy."

Emily had been with several women before JJ. She liked to think that she was a good lover. She took pleasure in bringing her partner pleasure. But nothing compared to how she felt when she was with JJ.

There was just something about the taste of JJ's skin. The way she moved against Emily, taunt and writhing and always, always wanting more. The way her eyes darkened from blue to violet as she got closer and closer to the edge. And the way she always came with Emily's name on her lips.

She trailed kisses across JJ's neck, sucking at the tender skin just below her ear and dipping her tongue into the contours at the base of her throat while her hands slid across her lovers body, caressing every inch of skin she could get her hands on. Emily's fingers traced the outline of JJ's ribs, up to her breasts then down her sides and across her stomach.

She felt like she could never get enough of this woman. Of the taste of her, a mix of salt, coconut scented body wash and something that was just simply JJ. Of the touch of her, soft, silky skin and the play of muscles against her touch.

She had been in love before, but never like this. Never had she felt more whole. Or more connected to another person in her life.

JJ moaned and moved beneath her, arching her hips upwards, searching for purchase, for a friction that Emily had so far been denying her. She spread her legs, trying to force one of Emily's knees into place against her center. But Emily resisted. She shifted, pushing JJ's legs farther apart as her own stance widened.

She coursed a path across JJ's jaw while her hands continued to explore. She slid them up to JJ's breasts, tugging at the nipples then rolling it between her fingers

"Em...stop teasing...I..need you..." JJ's words came on ragged breaths, her voice hoarse and cracking. "I need you inside me."

With one hand she undid the snaps of JJ's pants and pushed the material down over her hips then tugged at the waistband of her underwear.

Emily raised her head to look at JJ as she plunged inside, her finger sliding through warm, slick wetness.

"Look at me, JJ. Look at me," she coaxed as the other woman's eyes fluttered shut. She slid another finger in and began working her lover slowly. "Come on Jayje. Open those eyes. I want to watch you when you come."

JJ's eyes drifted open and Emily stared down into them. She watched as they darkened and became unfocused as JJ came undone.


	9. Chapter 8

**For all disclaimers, see chapter 1.**

**Author's Note:** Once again, thank you to everyone who replied to my author's note and let me know that you were still reading. I never intended to cut anyone off who was enjoying the story. I didn't realize that so many people were still reading it.

So, thank you, for your words of encouragement and I will do my best to get the rest of the story posted quickly. I hope that you will all continue to enjoy the story.

Chapter 8

"Prentiss."

Emily started at the sound of Morgan's voice in her ear. She jerked in her chair, her hand knocking the cup of coffee she'd just put down and some of the hot liquid sloshed over the edge.

"Dammnit." She hissed out a breath between her teeth as she pulled her hand back. She was too slow to prevent herself from being burned though. Biting back another curse she cradled her hand against her chest as she turned to look at Morgan, who was leaning against the corner of her desk.

From the faint smirk on his face, she gathered that he'd been trying to get her attention for some time now.

"What?"

His brow furrowed at her tone and immediately she felt guilty.

"I'm sorry. I'm just..." she trailed off.

"Rough morning?"

"Yeah. Monday's suck."

Morgan chuckled. "That they do. But, is that all it is? Because, that's your third cup of coffee and we've only been here two hours."

Emily scowled at him, annoyed at being profiled, even if only mildly.

"I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Oh?" Morgan's eyebrows rose as he offered her a leering grin. "JJ keep you up late last night?"

"Not the way you're thinking."

"Don't tell me, you stayed up all night talking?"

Emily shook her head, hesitating a moment as she tried to decide whether or not she wanted to talk about this. Morgan was a collegue of both her and JJ and she wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to bring their relationship into the office.

"What's up, Prentiss?" All the humor was gone from his voice, the teasing glint dissapeared from his eye.

That made her decision for her. Morgan was the closest she had to a best friend. If she couldn't confide in him, who could she confide in?

"JJ and I are fighting."

"No, shit? Really?"

Emily nodded.

"That sucks." Morgan offered her a sympathetic smile. "About what?"

Emily let out a sigh and rubbed a hand across her eyes. "I don't know. It was one of those fights where it started out being about one thing and ended up being about everything."

"What started it?"

"Last night, JJ was reading the paper and she came across an article about a women's soccer league in DC. She said she thought it might be fun to play again, without the pressure and competition. And I...I told her that it probably wasn't such a good idea. That we're usually out of town 3 or four nights a week and when we are in town, we're so busy with consulting and paperwork and other things that it doesn't leave a lot of time for us to spend time together. I guess JJ thought I was trying to tell her what to do because she snapped at me, which pissed me off. After that..." Emily trailed off and shook her head. She didn't want to go into the details of their fight. That was private and personal to them.

The fight had ended when Emily had stormed out. She'd driven around for a couple of hours and then gone home to her condo. It was the first night she'd slept there, alone, in months and she'd been restless the whole night, tossing and turning and unable to get comfortable. First anger, then pride had kept her from getting out of bed and making the late night drive to JJ's.

They didn't fight often, but when they did it was usually pretty explosive. The one disadvantage to being deeply in love, Emily supposed was that the other person had a great capacity with wich to hurt you.

Talking it out with Morgan helped though. He didn't take sides, didn't judge, just listened until she'd gotten everything off her chest. By the time she was finished she was feeling less angry and more remorseful, the way she usually felt after a fight. She started going over the argument in her head and saw all the ways in which she could have, should have, diffused the situation before it got so heated.

Instead of getting pissed she should have calmed JJ down and told her that she wasn't trying to control her, she was just concerned that she would be stretching herself too thin with this added activity. Should have said this. Shouldn't have said that. It was true what they said, hindsight really was 20/20.

"Thanks for the ear, Morgan," she said. She really did appreciate him taking the time to talk with her. Their friendship was still pretty new. And it was one thing to go to the bar and drink and dance or exchange banter across the bullpen but it was a whole other matter to let someone in, to be vulnerable in front of them. She already trusted him with her life. It felt nice to be able to trust him with her heart as well.

"Anytime, Prentiss. Anytime." He pushed himself off from the corner of her desk. Impulsively, she rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug, wrapping his arms around her waist and squeezing her tight for a moment.

Then, instead of letting go, he tightened his grip and lifted her feet from the ground.

"Hey. Put me down." She pushed against his chest.

He let her dangle there for a moment then let her drop. She punched him in the arm and he chuckled, then winced as she punched him just a little bit harder.

Rubbing his shoulder he said, "Good luck with JJ. And hey, just remember, whatever the argument, it's almost always worth it for the make-up sex."

"Go back to work, Morgan." She pointed to his desk.

He gave her grin then ambled back over to his own workspace.


	10. Chapter 9

**For all disclaimers, see chapter 1.**

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for your wonderful comments. And, once again I'm sorry for not posting. I really didn't think anyone was reading.

Chapter 9

Emily waited until lunch time to see JJ and to wave the white flag. She hoped that the morning had given JJ time to cool off and calm down. Of the two of them, Emily had the shorter temper. And JJ tended to hold onto her anger longer. Which meant that Emily was usually the one apologizing

.

Not that she minded.

Unlike some of the relationships that she'd been in, where her lover would use their anger and their emotions as a weapon, giving her the silent treatment or turning on the tears to get what they wanted, Emily knew that JJ was not trying to being manipulative.

Even if she was hurt or angry, she wasn't the type to make Emily grovel. And a genuine apology usually went a long way in smoothing over those feelings.

Of course, a peace offering of some sort didn't hurt either. Which was why Emily headed up the block to the deli to pick up a sandwich a salad and a coffee, knowing that JJ likely hadn't eaten yet. Even on days when they weren't fighting JJ often worked through her lunch hour, opting to get through as many case files as she could during the day rather than staying later into the evening.

She knocked on JJ's door, which was closed against the constant din of the bullpen, then, juggling the bags and drink tray in her arms, awkwardly pushed it open and stepped inside.

Emily was greeted with the familiar site of JJ at her desk, absently twirling a pen between her fingers as she read through the case file in front of her. She didn't look up until Emily paused in front of her desk, casting a shadow across the page she was reading.

"I brought you some lunch." Emily put one of the bags down on the corner of the desk and studied JJ, trying to gauge her mood.

"From the deli down the street?" JJ offered her a smile as she pulled one side of the bag down to take a look inside. "Thanks, Em. I didn't even realize I was hungry."

And, without having to even say a word, Emily knew she was forgiven.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Me too."

A comfortable silence fell as they both set up their lunches amongst the clutter on JJ's desk. Packets of dressing were passed back and forth, napkins and plastic forks handed out, sugar added to coffee, cream stirred in, the two of them falling into a familiar rhythmn were no words needed to be spoken. A gesture, a smile and one knew if the other wanted another packet of sugar or more mustard. Emily picked the cucumbers from her salad and dropped them into JJ's. JJ took the tomatoes off her sandwich and placed them Emily's. A few minutes later they were both relaxing into their chairs, their meals spread out in front of them.

"I had to do my weapons re-qualification today," JJ said as she started in on her salad. "And I heard an interesting piece of gossip down at the range."

Emily looked up from her own salad, intruiged. JJ wasn't a gossip. If she heard something she thought beared repeating, it must be something really good. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"I heard that you and Derek were looking pretty cozy in the bullpen this morning."

Emily nearly choked on the piece of lettuce she had just put into her mouth.

Smirking, JJ handed her coffee across the desk. Emily took it and sipped carefully, washing down the lettuce caught in her throat.

"Me and Derek?" she wheezed.

"Yep. Apparently you were flirting pretty heavily."

"We...What? We were _talking_."

" And you couldn't keep your hands off each other."

"We hugged."

JJ laughed and Emily scowled at her. "I'm glad that you think this is funny."

"Well, it is kind of. I mean, you and Derek?"

Emily fought the smile she felt tugging at the corner of her lips.

It was a little funny. Morgan was a friend. A really good friend but nothing more.

"I know, right? He's... he's like my brother, or something," Emily said, allowing the smile to form. It was moments like these when she remembered why JJ was not only her lover, but her friend. "What?" she demanded, catching the slight wrinkle of JJ's brow.

"That's a little kinky, the way you guys flirt."

"I don't flirt with Morgan!"

"You do so. All the time."

Emily sat back in her chair, dumbstruck. She thought back over some of their recent conversations, trying to see what JJ and others apparently saw.

How could she not have noticed?

"Emily? Em?" JJ was leaning forward, elbows on her desk, trying to get her attention.

"God, JJ. I'm so sorry. I never meant anything by it. I didn't even realize-"

"Relax, Emily. Breath."

Emily could hear the amusement in JJ's voice and it broke through her spining thoughts.

JJ waited until Emily met her eye before continuing. "I'm not mad. I know it's harmless. It's just the way you two relate."

Emily nodded, relief flowing through her. She was so glad that JJ wasn't upset.

"It's no different from how you flirt with Garcia. I get it. It's just a way to keep some of the tension of this job from-"

Emily cut JJ off in mid-sentence with her protest. "Wait a minute, Garcia? I don't flirt with Garcia."

"Of course you do."

"JJ-"

"How many times have you told Garcia that you loved her? Or that she's beautiful? Or awesome?"

Emily stared at JJ, mouth working as she fought to form a complete thought.

"If you could see your face right now..." JJ trailed off, laughing. But, her laughter quickly died out when saw that Emily failed to find the same humour that she did.

"Emily, calm down. I'm sorry I even said anything. If I had known you were going to take it like this, I wouldn't have even brought it up."

"How else do you expect me to take it when you tell me that I've been flirting with other people, right in front of you?"

"If anyone should be upset about this, it's me. And I'm not. Because I know that there's nothing behind it. Derek and Garcia, they're friends. It's not sexual. It's not out of disrespect to me, or our relationship."

"Yeah, well I still feel like an ass for doing it in front of you. Without even noticing."

"Well, don't. Sometimes, with the files that come across my desk every day and the cases that we work, listening to you and Derek banter or you and Garcia trying to one up each other is exactly what I need."

"Really?"

"Yes, really.

"You are amazing, do you know that?"

"You think so?" JJ asked, a smile playing on her lips.

Emily leaned forward in her chair, until their faces were only inches apart. "I do. And tonight, I'm going to show you just how amazing I think you are."


	11. Chapter 10

**For all disclaimers see chapter 1.**

**Author's Note: ** Okay, so now the story is all caught up. From now on, I'll continue posting here and on my livejournal as I tie up this story.

"So, that was my mother on the phone."

JJ looked up from her book as Emily appeared in the doorway to the living room with her cell phone in hand.

"She's going to be in the city next week. She wants to have dinner with us."

"You told your mother about us?" JJ felt a surge of panic. She'd only met Emily's mother once before and had found her to be an intimidating woman. She had been cordial but also a little cold. And that had been when the two of them were just collegues and friends. She wasn't sure she wanted to meet the other woman now that they were dating.

"What are you worried about?" Emily asked. "You, she likes. I'm the one that's the constant source of irritation and dissapointment."

The light tone was belied by the flash of hurt in her eyes.

JJ pushed her fears aside to address Emily.

"Em-"

"It's okay, JJ," the brunette cut her off. "I've reconciled the fact that my mother and I will never understand each other. And that we'll never have much in the way of a real relationship." She gave a half shrug. "There's no point in dwelling on things I can't change."

"That's true," JJ agreed. "But you're still allowed to feel hurt." She extended her arms, inviting Emily to step into them.

Emily closed the distance between them but instead of accepting the embrace she took JJ's hands in her own, lacing their fingers together and brushing a kiss across her knuckles.

"Trust me, I do feel it," Emily said softly. "But, it's not going to do change anything and it doesn't do me any good to focus on it. Besides, my relationship with my mother is only one part of my life. And a very small part at that." She offered a smile. "I have a very full life without it."

JJ felt the corners of her lips turn upwards in an answering smile. "We don't have to go," she said. "I'm sure that we can come up with some kind of excuse."

Emily shook her head. "Nah. I'd rather just get it over with. Besides, as difficult as my mother is..."

"She's still your mother."

Emily nodded. "So, when do I get to meet your family?"

"How about never?" she muttered and immediately wished she could take the words back as she watched Emily try to hide her hurt.

"I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean it like that." She tugged on Emily's hands, pulling the other woman down so she was sitting on her lap. "My relationship with my family is complicated," she said, releasing her grip on Emily's hands so she could loop her arms over her shoulders.

"Tell me about it," Emily said softy, stroking the hair off JJ's forehead.

"I had a good childhood. My parents were together. I grew up in a good neighbourhood. We weren't rich but we were comfortable. My father had a good, stable job. I had a lot of friends, I did well in school. I played soccer and basketball and was on the swim team in the summer. My parents were high school sweethearts. They married after graduation. My father went to work and my mother stayed home to take care of us. They were happy. And, it hurt them that their life was never good enough for me." JJ could recall all to clearly the mixture of anger and frustration and guilt that had fueled her adolescence. "And, it bothered me that they never wanted as much for me as I wanted for myself." She shook her head, trying to banish the maelstrom of emotions that her family always invoked in her.

Emily didn't say anything, she simply stroked JJ's cheek and waited for her to gather her thoughts. JJ didn't talk about her family much. Or her childhood and Emily was intruiged by this insight into her lover.

"I'm not worried about how my parents are will react when I tell them about me. About us. I know they're not going to stop talking to me or disown me or anything like that. They'll be upset for awhile. Until they get used to the idea and then..."JJ gave a sad, half smile. "And then they're going to love you. You are everything they've ever wanted me have in a partner. You're kind. Intelligent. Attractive." For just a moment her smile was warm and real and then it faded. "You have a good job. Financial security. You are everything my parents have always wanted for me to find in a partner but never wanted me to have for myself."

"Aw, Jayje." Emily wished there was something she could say to make her feel better. But, there were some things that couldn't be whisked away by a few soothing words and reassurances. And family issues were the ones that ran the deepest.

"Just promise me, Em, that we're not going to screw up our kids the way our parents screwed us up."

Emily felt like she was just waking from a dream. Or had gotten conked on the head. That was the only comparison she had for the dazed feeling that JJ's words caused.

For a moment, she couldn't speak.

"Our kids?" she finally managed to say, wondering as she did if she was reading too much into the words, if maybe it had just been a turn of phrase.

"You do want kids, don't you?" JJ said, looking a little worried. "I thought...you said.." she trailed off and Emily tried to remember if they'd had a conversation about having kids before that she'd simply forgotten. And then she remembered a short conversation on the plane before they'd even gotten together.

"Yeah. I've thought about it."

JJ let out a sigh of relief.

"You want kids?"

"Yeah. Not right now, but someday. I love my job but in a few years...I've always wanted to be a mom."

Emily digested that. "I could see it. You. Kids." She echoed the words JJ had once said to her.

JJ eyed her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just...kids, JJ? Are we really having that conversation now?"

"What?"

"We've been together three months. We haven't even talked about us living together and already you're planning for kids?"

JJ was silent for a moment, considering. "Fair enough," she conceeded Emily's point. "Maye we should talk about it."

"About...?" Emily wanted to be clear on just what they should be discussing.

"Moving in together. We spend most of our time off together, either here or at my place anyway. We both have clothes in each others closets, things in each others drawers. It would be so much more convenient."

Emily knew that was true. It had been a slow process, the natural progression of spending so many nights away from home. First there was the extra outfit or two in their bags. Then, a shirt or a blouse and some pants left in a closet because it was easier than lugging around the extra weight in their bags. Soon, JJ was keeping a spare toothbrush at Emily's and Emily's makeup was strewn across the counter along with JJ's. It would make things easier. How many times had she been at home and gone looking for a blouse or a suit jacket and realized that it was at JJ? Or been at JJ's and wanting to wear a particular necklace or ring and realized it was at home.

"JJ, I don't want us to move in together because it's more convenient. If we're going to move in together, I want it to be because we want to. Because we like the idea of falling asleep together and waking up together and sharing our lives. Not because-"

"I want to spend every moment with you. I want your face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning. I want to go grocery shopping and split the chores and argue about who's turn it is to take out the garbage," JJ cut her off with. "I want to share my life with you."

Emily couldn't help the grin that formed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I love you, Jennifer Jareau."

"I love you too, Emily Prentiss."


	12. Chapter 11

**Dislcaimers:** I own nothing. These characters belong to CBS, even if they have proven that they don't deserve them.

**Pairing:** Emily/JJ

**Spoilers for Season Four, specifically the episode Demonology.**

**Summary:** A night of drinking and dancing leads to so much more.

**Author's Note:** I know a couple people were expecting me to write dinner with the Ambassador and I tried but I just couldn't make it work. I've been struggling with this story for the last few chapters so now I'm just trying to tie it up.

**Chapter 12**

It took them a few weeks to decide where they were going to live.

Emily's condo was in a great location surrounded by theatres, museums, coffee shops and some of the best restaurants in the city. The building complex itself offered a full gym, a pool, a sauna and a tennis court as well a variety of other services such as laundry, meal deliveries and cleaning, all covered by a monthly maintnence fee.

JJ house was in one of the residental areas, an area with large, shaded lawns and winding, tree lined streets. There was a park at the end of the block and a rec center with a pool and a skating rink just a few minutes away. The nearby restaurants were pizza places and the coffee came from old style diners.

It was not the type of area Emily had ever envisioned herself living but JJ was proud of the house, which she'd saved for and bought with her own money. She'd painted it and furnished it and made her own. Her house was a point of pride. And not a materialistic pride either but a pride in her own accomplishments.

JJ was an independant woman. Normally, that was a trait that Emily respected and admired but it was causing them some problems as they tried to decide where to live because there was no way JJ could afford to contribute even half of the bills and upkeep of the condo. And Emily knew that JJ wouldn't let her cover the costs herself. She had enough trouble getting JJ to let her spring for a fancy dinner or a piece of jewelry that were oustide her lovers price range. There was no way that JJ would let herself be taken care of like that. Even if Emily could easily afford it. JJ didn't need, or want, Emily to provide for her.

And that was why Emily was prepared to give up the classy comfort of her condo for the warm familiarity of the house that had already started to feel like home.

As much as she loved the luxury and convenience of the condo it had never really felt like home before. It was a place to entertain guests and spend lazy Sunday mornings reading the paper or rest at the end of a long day but it was not truly a home.

She couldn't picture herself raising kids there. She could see doing that in JJ's house. She could imagine several pairs of little shoes lined up on the mat in the doorway and toys strewn about the floor in the living room. She could see herself doing art projects and helping with homework at the kitchen table and snuggling together on the couch in the living room for Saturday morning cartoons. The backyard was large enough for a swing set and still had plenty of space to run around in. The oak tree beside the fence would be perfect for a tree fort and the side of the garage was the perfect height for a baskebtall net.

That was why JJ had bought the house in the first place, knowing it would be a good place to raise kids and have a family and that was the deciding factor for Emily as well.

After deciding where they were going to live it took them another two weeks to find the time to start packing and moving not just Emily's stuff, but JJ's as well. With both of them having lived on their own for so long they had two sets of pretty much everything, from dishes and toasters to lamps and dressers. Some of her things, like her coffee maker and tv, Emily could care less about. She was happy to throw it out or donate it (depending on it's condition) but other things, like her dining room set and the desk in her study she refused to get rid of. The former was a family heirloom, passed down to her from her grandmother. The latter had been a graduation present from her father, the last gift he'd given her before he'd passed away. It was battered and scarred and a little worse for wear but she couldn't bear to part with it. There were other items, knicknacks and pieces that she'd picked up over the years that while they might not hold the same level of sentimal value were still priceless to her.

JJ, for her part, understood that it wasn't fair to Emily to simply have to get rid of all her things. Nor did she want to give up some of the articles she'd collected over the years. It was a tricky buisness, trying to combine two lives but after several discussions they figured out the bulk of it.

Emily's bedroom set, which included a king size bed with a mahogany frame and matching dressers and night stands would go into their bedroom while JJ's queen size wire frame bed would go into the spare bedroom. The third bedroom upstairs would remain JJ's study and the den downstairs would become Emily's. JJ's dining room set, minus the hutch with her grandmother's dishes, would be donated to charity and Emily's would take it's place. They decided to switch out a couple of lamps, an end table here or there and worked in a few other key pieces and that settled that.

Of course, that was just the big stuff. There was still the matter of all the rest of Emily's possession.

"Where did all this stuff come from?" Emily complained, adding another box to the already overwhelming pile in the foyer.

She'd never considered herself a materialistic person before. In fact, she'd always thought that her lifestyle was rather minimalistic. Aside from an extensive book collection and a fairly impressive dvd selection, she wasn't much of a collector. She wasn't particularly fond of shopping, so her wardrobe was pretty basic, enough clothes to get her through a week or two of work and a few pieces that were appropriate if she was going out. She didn't horde shoes and she didn't have the time or effort for decorating, so it's not like she had tons of knicknacks. Which was why she was having a hard time figuring out why she had a hallway full of boxes and a mess of stuff still to go through.

"You know, I'm not convinved that all of this is actually mine."

"Really? And where would it have come from then?" JJ asked, appearing at her side with a box of her own. "The junk fairy?"

"Maybe."

JJ rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, well just wait until we have to start sorting through your stuff."

The smirk faded from JJ's lips and Emily laughed.

"It's worth it though," Emily said. "Because it represents the start of our lives together."

"Well, aren't you just a sweet talker." JJ looped her arms around Emily's waist and held her loosely.

"You bring that out in me."

"Mmhmm. And it doesn't have anything to do with that fact that you're just a romantic?"

"You know, I've always been a good girlfriend. I remember birthdays and anniversaries and will bring home flowers for no reason and all that...but it was always something I had to work at. It's different with you. It comes naturally. I just...I want to make you as happy as you make me."

JJ smiled softly at her for a moment before tilting her head up and capturing Emily's lips in a sweet kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too. You have given me everything I thought I'd never have or convinced myself I never wanted."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, growing up all I ever wanted was a family. My parents were never around much. I was raised more by nannies and my teachers than I was by my mother and father. I swore when I grew up, I was going to have the kind of family that mine never was. But then I hit my teenage years...and none of that seemed possible anymore. And I convinced myself that I didn't want that life after all."

School and then work had become a distraction. She'd poured herself into being the best and brightest, first at Yale then at the academy and then in the various field offices she'd been assigned to. She'd dated some, even had a couple of relationships but she'd known that none of them would be permanent.

And she'd told herself that she was fine with that. That she had no interest in settling down.

"You really thought that just because you were gay, you wouldn't be able to fine someone, start a family?"

"You have to remember JJ, I was raised mostly in the Middle East and Eastern Europe. Even though I was born here, the first time I can remember being in the states was when I was 8, just after my mother's post in Israel ended. Over there, homosexuality was, still is, considered a sickness or a perversion. That's the enviroment I was raised in. Even though we'd lived in several more liberal countries by the time I hit high school, it took a long time to shake that upbringing."

It wasn't the whole truth but it was all true and Emily knew she could just leave it at that. But, she and JJ were starting a life together, they'd talked a little about having kids. It was only fair that she told her everything.

"Look, can we maybe go sit down? There's something else I need to tell you."

JJ studied Emily carefully for a long moment, trying to figure out what could cause her tone to grow flat like that, for the life to slip from her eyes. Emily stared impassively at her so JJ let her arms drop and stepped past her towards the living room.

JJ settled herself at one end of the couch and turned expectantly towards Emily, who sat on the cushion next to her.

Emily sunk down onto the cushion beside her and let her head fall back against the couch, eyes pressed closed.

Heart pounding furiously in her chest, JJ reached over and put her hand over Emily's.

"What I told you, about how I grew up, that's only part of it. There's another reason why I thought I'd never have a family." Eyes still closed, Emily took a deep breath and whispered, "I can't have kids."

JJ tightened her grip on her lovers hand, rubbing the pad of her thumb over her knuckles as she continued.

"When I was fifteen I got pregnant," Emily continued. "I had an abortion."

JJ couldn't mask her gasp of surprise and immediately felt guilty when she saw Emily flinch.

"There were some complications. I found out a few years later that I can't have kids." Though her voice was steady, tears were spilling out from beneath her lashes, which were still pressed tightly together.

"Oh, Emily."

JJ wrapped her arms around her shoulders and stroked her hair as Emily buried her face into the crook of her neck, her breath and tears warm against JJ's skin.

She didn't know what to say. Her heart ached at the thought of Emily, young and frightened faced with that situation. It pained her to think of her lover, full of passion and caring wanting more than anything to feel like she belonged to something, to someone, being denied one of the truest, purest forms of belonging.

She was saddened to think that Emily had spent so many years thinking she could never have a child, a family.

And she was honoured that Emily had started to believe that maybe she could have all of that with her.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Emily's voice, muffled and hoarse, caught JJ's attention. "I just didn't know how.

"Emily, Em, shhh," JJ pulled back, cupping her lovers face in her hands as she silenced her apology. She wiped at the teartracks on her cheeks with her thumbs as she pressed a soft, sweet kiss to her lips. "There's nothing to apologize for."

Emily's eyes drifted open and JJ noticed that they were glassy and unfocused as if her thoughts were still somewhere far away. She was looking at JJ, but JJ had a feeling she wasn't seeing her.

"I was 19 when I found out. I'd been having some problems, cramping and bleeding. The doctor ran some test, took an ultrasound and told me that there was damage, scar tissue and that I'd likely never be able to have children."

How horrible it must have felt to hear that at such a young age.

"And I pushed it aside, convinced myself that I didn't want them anway. But then I met you and I started to want that again. I started thinking what it would be like to hold a baby in my arms. And I know I said it was too soon to talk about kids but I want you to know that I want that. With you."

"And we'll have that," JJ assured her. "I promise."

Emily touched her forehead to JJ's and stared in her eyes, "Thank you, JJ."

"I love you."

"If it were legal, I'd ask you to marry me. But since it's not, I'll just have to settle for showing you every day how much you mean to me."


	13. Chapter 12

Champagne Mistakes Chapter 13 (final chapter)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. These characters belong to CBS and whoever else holds rights to them.

**AUTHOR' NOTE:**This was orginally intended to be a oneshot, but the support and encouragment I received inspired me to continue with this story. My goal with it was to take the slightly dysfunctinal start of their relationship and turn it into a happy, heatlhy, adult relationship and I believe that that I have accomplished that.  
Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who's taken the time to read this story and reply. Your comments make my day. And it means the world to me that you were enjoying my efforts.  
You rock. Seriously.  
Love, Samantha.

Emily had never doubted her ability to do the job. Had never questioned whether or not she deserved her position on the team. She had, however felt a great deal of uncertainty and doubt as to whether or not her teamates believed in her. Whether they thought her parents had pulled strings to get her onto the team. Whether they truly trusted her to have their backs. Whether they actually liked her or were just being friendly to her because she was there and they didn't have much other choice.

It had taken her a long time to finally feel like she fit in, to feel like it was her place to tease Reid about his tendency to spout statistics instead of engaging in actual conversation, to feel comfortable getting a shot or two in at Morgan about his physicality, his prowess or any number of other things. It had taken months before she'd felt secure enough in her place to run with Garica's banter or sit across from Gideon on the plane and talk theology and ideology.

Even then, sometimes, she'd have these little moments of doubt. The bi-product of living in so many different places as a child, of constantly moving and re-settling into new enviroments, new cultures, new versions of herself. Even though the team had been nothing but warm and welcoming, there was still that niggling voice in her brain questioning if they really meant it, if she'd really found a home here with them.

It didn't occur as often as it used to and it was much easier to quell now than it had been but it was still there.

Or at least, it had been.

Emily had a feeling that it wasn't going to be making an appearance again any time soon. Not after the way the team stepped up to support her and JJ when they announced that they were going to move in together.

Hotch and Gideon offered to go to bat for her with Strauss. Garcia had offered the services of her technical wizardry, stating she could block the change of address in the system or do any other number of things that were against Bureau policy to shield the two of them from detection. And, every one of her teamates had offered to help with the move.

Simple things, really, but Emily knew what kind of trouble Hotch and Gideon could bring upon themselves by going to Strauss and endorsing her and JJ's relationship. Especially Hotch, if he admitted that he'd known about it about it and not reported it. And Garcia was willing to risk her career to help keep Emily and JJ protected.

Those were the kind of things that people only did for the ones that they loved.

For family.

JJ kept saying that the BAU was a family and now, finally, Emily was able to believe it. And it was an amazing feeling, being part of that.

Which is why even though she declined their offer to help her move (there was no way she trusted the guys to move her furniture without scratching it) and hired a professional company to get all of her things to JJ's unscathed, she did invite everyone over for dinner the weekend after they'd gotten all of their things settled. A quasi-housewarming.

"When you said you wanted to invite everyone over for dinner, I thought you meant pizza and chicken wings or chinese food or something. I didn't think you meant you were going to cook for them."

Emily glanced over at JJ, who was leaning against the kitchen doorframe gazing at her in amusement.

She offered up a wry grin. "It's not as if I'm cooking everything from scratch. The chicken came pre-cooked from the deli, all I'm doing is re-heating it. The potatoes are from a box and the rolls came from a tube."

JJ pushed herself off the doorframe and strode into the kitchen, stopping when she reached Emily's side. "The vegetables are fresh," she pointed out.

"Yeah. And it took great culinary skill to boil them in water."

JJ slid an arm arcoss her shoulders and rested her head against Emily's. "So, you're not Martha Stewart. But you know what, she's got nothing on you when it comes to pulling off sexy in an apron." She pressed a quick kiss to Emily's cheek than pulled back to tug at the front of the red-checkered apron that the dark haired woman had donned to protect her clothes while she prepared dinner.

Emily grinned as she gripped JJ's hips and twisted them around so the blond woman was backed against the counter and she was pressed against her.

"You know, we haven't christened the kitchen yet," she murmured against the skin of JJ's neck before brushing her lips across it.

After moving Emily's stuff in the Saturday before, they'd spent the rest of the weekend "christening" the house. They'd made love in their new, queen sized bed, the spare bedrooom, the living room and Emily's new office.

"And we won't be doing it now, either," JJ muttered, pushing Emily back as the doorbell chimed through the house.

Emily let out a sigh of dissapointment and dropped her arms from around JJ's waist.

"Just remember, this was *your* idea." JJ stepped past her and Emily bit back a curse, then turned to watch JJ's backside as she strode from the room to answer the door.

An hour later, Emily's dissapointment was if not forgotten at least tamped down by the company of her teamates, her family. While dinner had finished cooking they'd sprawled around the living room sipping wine as they talked, joking and laughing and just enjoying the downtime spent together.

Now they were settling themselves around the table, crowded in close because it wasn't meant to sit seven. They jostled for elbow room and constantly bumped against each other as they passed dishes and condiments and started in on their meals. It was awkward and a little loud and Emily couldn't help but smile at the site of if.

Slowly the commotion died down and regular conversation reigned as they ate.

During a lull in the conversation, JJ tapped her glass, earning the attention of the others. Even Emily turned to her,curious. JJ had been planning this but she hadn't breathed a word of it to her lover. The seed had been planted in her mind a few days ago, something Emily had said during her tearful confession.

All eyes were on her and JJ knew she should be nervous. People usually were in times like this. And not only was she going to do it, but she was doing it publicly. But, she wasn't nervous. Not in the least. In fact, she felt rather calm as she raised her glass to her guests.

"Emily and I want to thank you for all your support," she began. "You mean the world to me, to us. And we're lucky, no blessed, to have you in our lives."

"We love you, Jayje, Emily." Garcia replied, and was supported by a murrmer of agreement.

JJ couldn't help but grin at her tone, as if were a foregone conclusion.

"Which is why I wanted to have you all here for this moment." With that she put down her glass and turned to face Emily, who was seated beside her. "I wanted to do this in front of the people that we love. The ones who were the most instrumental in helping us navigate our lives and our relationship." She stared deep into Emily's chocolate brown eyes, watching them grow wide as she began to understand the situation.

This was a kind of full circle moment for the two of them, considering how their relationship had come about.

And the doubts that Emily had harboured in the beginning probably still lingered, even if her dark haired lover would never voice them. JJ hoped that this would be enough to silence them, once and for all.

"You said you'd marry me if it were legal but to be honest I could care less about a white dress and a fancy ceremony. All that matters to me is that you know that I love you, with everything I have and that I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me."

Emily's eyes had begun to mist over the moment she'd started talking and now tears were falling freely down her cheeks, though she did manage a smile at the words she'd used only a week before being echoed back at her.

JJ's hands were shaking as she dug into her pocket and pulled out a simple gold band with the infinity symbol etched into it.

Emily's throat worked as she reached up and clasped JJ's hands in her own. "I love you, JJ." Her words were thick and hoarse. "I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you."

She released JJ's hands, allowed the other to grip her wrist gently and slide the ring onto her finger.

The rest of the room faded away as the two of them stared at each other, quietly amazed at the turns their lives had taken to bring them here, to this moment.

Their moment was interrupted, however, by their teamates clinking their glasses, demanding a kiss, like at a wedding.

Only too happy to oblige, JJ cupped the back of Emily's head and pulled her in close.

FIN


End file.
